Finding Never (Never say Never) by C.M. Stunich

Author:C.M. Stunich
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: romance
Publisher: Sarian Royal
Published: 2013-02-01T06:00:00+00:00

17

“Oh, Never,” Ty says, sitting down beside me. “Fuck.”

I've stopped crying which is a bad sign. I go to that empty place inside of myself, the one that always used to cry out for pretend love, and try to get a hold of myself. Ty doesn't wait for me to say anything or explain, he just reaches out and pulls me into his lap, squeezes me tight against his bare chest and holds me there. I cling to him and breathe through my nose. I want to get better, I want to change, I want a life where I don't cry at night, where I stop pushing people away, that I can live without regrets.

“She doesn't love me.” The statement is simple enough to understand, but Ty shakes his head.

“She does,” he explains as I try to push back from him. He won't let me. Somehow, in this moment he knows better what I need than I do.

“Did you fucking hear that conversation?” I ask, and Ty nods.

“I see a woman who's afraid, afraid to love, afraid to admit to her mistakes because then she has to take the blame for the pain in her daughters' lives, and she isn't strong enough for that.”

“How do you know that?” I ask him. “You just fucking met her.” Ty lets me move back and stares at me with dark eyes. Something is coming, something big. “Don't,” I say before any words can come from Ty's lips. “Stop.”

“When I was twelve, my step-father tried to rape me.”

“Ty … ” He isn't ready for this, and I don't want him spilling his secrets because he feels sorry for me. That isn't right. If I let him do that, I'll be as bad as Angelica.

“Luckily, he didn't quite make it all the way, but … ” Ty nibbles his lip ring and sighs. “The point is, my mom didn't believe me.” He pauses. “Sorry, scratch that. Let me rephrase it. She knew I was telling the truth, but she didn't want to admit that to herself.” I put my hands over my ears and close my eyes. Ty cannot open himself up for me or his heart may fall out. I can't have that happening. I don't want him to slide back because I'm having such a hard time moving forward.

“Stop,” I whisper in the quiet dark of the kitchen. “Don't break yourself into pieces for me.”

“Never,” Ty says as he gently but firmly moves my hands away from my ears. “I will do whatever it takes to make you better, even if it means destroying myself in the process.”

“But why?” I whisper. You're not worth it, rings through my head, but I push it back. That's not Ty, not anymore. He was just reacting to me back then; now he's reacting for me.

“I told you, Never, I fucking love you.”

“You don't even know me.”

“Bullshit.” Ty drops my hands and looks at me with an expression that says he's not taking any shit. “Don't be stupid, Nev.

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